Monthly Archives: November 2008

Author : Kurt Schmitt

Neuro-linguistic programming, or NLP, was developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the 1970s What started out as a study of why some very successful psychotherapists were so effective turned into its own method for self-improvement

It’s different from traditional self-improvement, therapies, and positive thinking methods because it relies largely on a method called modeling and focuses on what works It works off of certain presuppositions, and sometimes, it even disregards the truth

For example, NLP presupposes that you have all the resources that you need in order to effect positive change An additional assumption is that failure does not exist In other words, no matter what you are successfully producing results, even if those results are unwanted

It doesn’t matter whether or not the presupposition is true as long as it is useful For example, is a drill true? What, you never asked that question about a drill? I never have neither, but I’ve used one many times and it works just fine whether or not it’s true

Another presupposition in NLP is that people work perfectly In other words, even a drug addict who is on the way to killing himself is working perfectly (at killing themselves)

Often, many people assume that they need therapy because they are broken and need fixing Some therapies seem to reinforce this idea This has a tendency to turn people into victims and excuse their negative behavior in the future by imposing an inherent limitation In a sense, these methods predict failure

As an example, think about a negative belief you have about yourself and how it might be holding you back Many of our negative beliefs are reinforced by years of listening to others Take the case of someone who has been told all of their life that they’re a poor learner They become a victim of their own self-limiting belief and spend their time on trying to fix their perceived learning problems instead of accomplishing their goals

Instead of looking into why someone is a bad learner, neuro-linguistic programming would instead have them focus on modeling the behaviors and beliefs of people who are good at learning Remember also that another presupposition of NLP is that you have all the resources at your disposal to make a change

Professionals in the life coaching field utilize a similar concept that says that the present is perfect This allows you to accept that things are as they should be and gives you the power to make changes in your life

NLP tells us that if someone can accomplish something, then someone else can do it as well by modeling those who are successful It’s also flexible in that it says that if your current processes aren’t achieving the results you want, then try something different

One of the most famous students of neuro-linguistic programming is Tony Robbins Tony became very well known for showing people how to achieve quick turn-arounds in their lives, and developed his own brand of self-improvement in part, based on NLP techniques

There are a number of resources online where you can learn the basic techniques and principles, and many life coaches and NLP practitioners you can work with to take things to the next level If you’re looking for a practical and effective approach to life change, then NLP may just be for you

Kurt Schmitt writes for a website that includes quotes on success and a number of articles on how to learn neuro-linguistic programming Don’t reprint this exact article. Instead, reprint a free unique content version of this same article. Continue reading →

Author : Sowmithri Ramgangadar

Today, in this fast-paced world, man is always under stress to stay in tune with life He wants to control everybody and everything around him, little realising that controlling himself is the key to success, peace of mind and happiness

There comes a time in life, when man realises that the external world is no longer interesting and does not give him peace and happiness He understands that there is something more to life and starts analysing himself or starts looking within

This is the beginning to conquering himself This is the beginning for peace and happiness

Even for a big bonfire, a small spark is what matters Even a journey of a thousand miles starts with a small step Conquering yourself is the first step

Just as your shadow follows you wherever you go, your thoughts are always with you, wherever you are, be it home, at work or in the Himalayas Hence, being in control of yourself is of prime importance It is a mind game

There are two options available to you; conquering yourself or conquering others

Consider a situation wherein someone intimidates you If you are in control of yourself or in other words conquered yourself by overcoming anger, you will react to this intimidation positively You will not lose your cool but will leave the intimidator cold

You will take on an assertive role, speak suitably and put him in place You will be in control of the situation When you have a cool head, you will take the right decisions

Conquering yourself is an easier and sensible option giving you the desired results and conquering others an unwarranted one Think differently Do not try to conquer others; rather try to conquer yourself for peace and happiness

This article is not intended to be one full of advice Nor is it a magic mantra for everything I can vouch for its effectiveness, as I have learnt in my personal, professional, social and spiritual life leading to peace of mind and happiness

The motivating factor and purpose of this article is as follows:

Like everyone, I have gone through a series of experiences and learnt about the practical aspects of life I wanted to record my experiences, which would help readers understand life without having to go through what I did Thereby cutting down the learning curve substantially

The importance of this exercise can be seen in the fact that this is aimed at the younger generation I do not want them to despair in life, but feel that they should fight and carry on in their lives with confidence and courage

This assumption is based on the fact that all round education is a must for an individual from the younger days itself This will give him an idea as to what can be expected later on in practical life

Another factor is that more and more couples are in employment these days HR managers have a problem on hand, since employees carry thoughts of office to home and vice versa

Husband and wife will have to mesh smoothly for happiness at home and efficiency at office This will help HR managers in recruiting and retaining good and useful talent Experiences in my personal, professional, social and spiritual life have proved that this is possible

Conquer yourself and not the world, is a positive outcome of the conflict I had with my conscience and not with my colleagues or compatriots Remember, everything is within you I am only acting as a catalyst by kindling your thought process by way of this article

Wishing you Success!

Sowmithri will guide you to Conquer Yourself for Success, Peace and Happiness based on real life experiences over two decades and more. Find out how at
www.conqueryourself.info Continue reading →

Author : Mercedes Oestermann van Essen

It hardly needs pointing out that one of our core desires is to be happy Yet happiness is as elusive as the Scarlet Pimpernel for most of us We are caught up in the uncertainties of life and the daily worries of survival in an environment that seems to be getting tougher rather than easier

All the talk about the energetic shift, ascension and the like are of little help when you are facing your own demons in a world that appears basically unfriendly and dangerous Most of us are at a level of our cognitive development where we need to see proof that the things we are doing are working

There is now an unprecedented number of alternative therapies about and alternative medicine is booming For good reason, because more and more of us are waking up to the fact that the old ways of dealing with our emotional health, which also ultimately dictates our physical well being, have ceased to work

Our growing understanding of universal laws makes it clearer by the day that the draconian methods of old suppress the body’s natural healing powers rather than supporting them

In case you wonder what this has to do with your ability to “do” happiness, let me tell you this: It has a great deal to do with it Only when you understand your body and mind and how it functions as part of a much larger part, namely the universe, can you begin to understand what is involved in becoming truly happy

Happiness basically consists of three things: A healthy working and living environment, a healthy body and a healthy mind This in itself is not rocket science, however, most people make two fundamental mistakes on their happiness quest First, they underestimate the importance of their immediate surroundings on their mental and physical well being (I have written about the dangers of geopathic stress and EMR, electro magnetic radiation extensively and will cover this important subject again in another article )

Second, they spend too much time figuring out why they are unhappy instead of working out how they “do” unhappiness This is a common flaw in many therapies and personal development work The emphasis is on understanding why you have problems Yet, the answer to this question is so simple, that it would put most psychiatrists and therapists out of business tomorrow The reason is always to do with unresolved early live trauma, if you have persistent problems, and if you encounter isolated problems they will be linked to an undigested experience later in your life and finally, environmental factors can seriously affect your mental and physical well being

The point though is this: While it is necessary to neutralize unresolved negative emotions to clear the road to happiness, you do not need to know, nor analyze in great detail why you have these problems You just need to know how to clear them and there are a number of techniques you can learn easily

Remember this: You will always get what you focus on It really is as simple as that If you focus on why you have a problem, now, that might be interesting knowledge to have, alas it will do precious little to solve your issues On the other hand, when you work on figuring out how you do unhappiness and begin to see the often absurd pattern you are running, you will stop running them automatically over time

So my advice to you is this: Learn techniques to increase your cognitive awareness Focus on the how rather than the why of your actions You will be amazed what you uncover And your ability for true happiness will grow accordingly and your life will become more successful too

Mercedes Oestermann van Essen is a human development coach, energy therapist and author. She has created the
Happy Venn Diagram for environment, body and mind, a unique approach for happiness and success. Get your free report, 5 Little Known Keys To Happiness Continue reading →

Author : Aydan Corkern

If you have someone that might suffer from low self-esteem or their self-esteem drops, you will need to help them put the fire back into it Everyone is born with their own self-esteem, and this is what we think of ourselves Sometimes we worry about what everyone else is thinking or saying about us If this person thinks that he is nothing to anyone and he or she hears this said about them a lot of times, eventually they might start to believe the stories and their self-esteem will become less and think less of themselves They will think that they aren’t worth your love or your time

There are a lot of people in this world that don’t even know who you are, so you don’t even need to worry or listen to what they are saying about you because they don’t know the real you All you really need to worry about are your own actions and how they are going to affect the ones that really matter to you because your self-esteem is dependent on your actions alone

You really don’t want to do something to cause your self-esteem to drop or the way you see yourself Let people see you as a winner even if you’re not all the time If you think highly of yourself, others will follow Do not think too highly of yourself, however, because this can backfire on you also, as this can turn some people against you for no other reason but that they will think that you believe you are better than them They will start to tell other people stories to make you look bad to hurt your feelings and your self-esteem

Try to rebuild your life by tearing down all the bad things about you and try to build new ones If your self-esteem is so low you feel like you would be better off to go somewhere else to try to rebuild your life, then by all means do it When you have regained your life, you can come back to the place where it all started and show them that you are better for it

There are actually five elements that you should keep in mind when it comes to your self-esteem These are: choosing to be happy with yourself, honoring your values and holding them high, always maintaining a positive attitude, keeping away from bad influences, and unleashing your passion and creativity on something you like They should also add on a sixth one: never let anyone tell you that you are a failure The kind of car you own or the house you might live in or the amount of money you make should not matter

Aydan Corkern is a writer of many topics, visit some of her sites, like
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Author : Joel Chue

Right from the time when you were a small child you’ve heard your parents speak about goals Why does one need to have a goal? How can one achieve a goal? Can’t life remain the way it is without goals? These are just a few points that you’ve heard about Now it’s time to put all the theories into practice Most people experience difficulty when it comes to aspiring a goal and for some others the very goal setting process may seem jaw- breaking If you want to set a goal for yourself, you exactly need to know why you’ll need to achieve it and how you are going to do so

The initial process of goal setting can be extremely confusing for some since at any point of time a person has a number of hopes, wishes and objectives It takes a certain understanding of what you really want to prioritize your goals accordingly in order to reach them Hence, as soon as you zeroed in on your goal, divert your attention to it immediately and start working towards it

So what is the basis behind goal setting? Why do people set goals? Simply put, goal setting is another phrase to explain personal planning Just as you need to nurture your plans dedicatedly, so do you need to nourish your goals By making the process of goal setting a sequence of action steps, you improve your chances of succeeding Whenever you set a goal, develop the conviction within you that you will reach your desired outcome This strong belief of success increases confidence, concentration and is a common trait of high achievers

What are the things that you need to remember while setting a goal?

1 Be specific as to when you would reach your goals Having a deadline creates urgency and energy to motivate you to reach your goals By forcing yourself to work within the specific time frame, you will work faster, harder and smarter till you finally achieve your goal

2 Intermingle short and long term goals- If you ever decide for a long- term goal you need something to urge you during the short term as well Short- term goals can actually drive you towards your long- term goal In the period you have chosen to achieve your long-term goal, try to achieve a short-term goal every single day

3 One step at a time- When you set goals for yourself do not overdo Over burdening may result in under- achievement Take each short- term goal at a time and move ahead slowly but steadily

4 Do not send your schedule for a toss- If goal achieving is your ultimate aim you need to make sure that you are disciplined about it Create a routine and follow it rigorously Bringing changes into your schedule too often can delay achievement

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